How to Defend Your Kingdom
by Blue Toad
Summary: We all question one thing playing Mario games. Why doesn't the Mushroom Kingdom have proper defense? Well, in this fic, they do now! One-shot with a crazy ending. Rated T for violence.


**Oh god, I cannot even begin to tell how this fic came to become what it was. Basically, we've all thought that the Mushroom Kingdom has sucky defense, right? Well, my friend suggested one of the best defenses possible...and I agreed with her! So this fic is if the Mushroom Kingdom actually defended themselves with said-tatic. It may seem serious, but trust me, it has a WTF ending. Thanks to my friend for inspiring this!**

**Anyway, I won't delay you reading this! Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: Apart from two characters who I created for this fic, everyone else that is Mario belongs to Nintendo.**

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_~How to Defend Your Kingdom~_

Princess Peach sighed.

The town had been rebuilt from the damage caused by Bowser's airships, the castle had been settled back into the ground nicely and Bowser would not be causing any more trouble for the Mushroom Kingdom...

...For now, anyway. And this is what had brought the princess, her council of Toads, including Toadsworth and Mario all into the castle meeting room, the Princess at the head of the long table, with Mario and Toadsworth either side of her, and starting a line of seated people who the Princess trusted and put her faith in.

She looked up, and cleared her throat, signifying attention, which she received. After hesitating for a moment, Princess Peach began.

"I'm sure after last night...that we are all relived that Bowser has been defeated, thanks to Mario. However, we saw the scale of the attack. Toad Town was nearly destroyed. Bowser nearly won, and yet, we just let him off with little more then a slap of the wrist."

She felt stronger in what she was going to say, hatred for the Koopa King fuelling her words.

"He has done these things before. He uprooted the castle once before not all that long ago. And before that, he even trapped us all in these very walls with the Power Stars. And everytime he is defeated, I cannot help but feel a bit fearful...because I believe he will come back with better ideas...better means...better goals. He will stop at nothing until he rules the Mushroom Kingdom...no...the Universe!"

Several Mushroom retainers slowly nodded their heads. Mario and Toadsworth were keeping blank faces, merely listening to what she had to say.

"Our Toad guard is not bad, by any means." She heard a few coughs, and guessed that a few of the retainers disagreed with her. "But we need a better method in order to keep Bowser away from ever conquering us."

"Quite right, princess!" Toadsworth agreed, stroking his white mustache. "That brute has committed his most heinous act yet! And I do believe it's time we put a stop to it."

"Here here!" A elderly female Toad agreed a few seats down from Mario.

Peach nodded. "The problem is..." And her face grew grim. "...What means do we have? What can we do to overpower Bowser, who has a more powerful, better equipped army then us?"

Mario's expression did not faze, but a few of the retainers seemed in doubt that there was little that could be done to defeat the Koopa King forever.

"Pardon me, princess...but it was just last night that I happened across a certain idea of mine, and so I decided to pursue it...with your majesty's permission, of course."

The speaker was a middle-aged Toad, with a black moustache more fancier then Toadsworth, and dark blue spots across his head.

"What do you mean, Toadnoir?" The elderly female Toad inquired, peering at him through her star-shaped spectacles.

"Toadella, let me explain." Toadnoir put up a hand to signal that he did not like interruption. "I have a plan that will require the very best of the kingdom's citizens to assist us. Toads, Koopas, Yoshies, Bumpties and even more must help in order for this plan to succeed. You as well, Master Mario." He nodded at the plumber, who smiled and gave a thumbs up in return.

"What sort of plan are you suggesting, Toadnoir?" Princess Peach asked from the head of the table.

"I think, in order for you to _truly _see how great this plan is...you must see it for yourselves!" And Toadnoir pulled up a large scroll that was nearly three times the size of him. Unfurling it across the table with the help of the Toads next to him, the retainers, the Princess, Toadsworth and Mario took a while for what they were seeing to meet their eyes fully.

"_Ingenious..."_

"_Bowser will never see THIS coming..."_

"_Why didn't we think of this sooner?"_

"Well, princess?" Toadnoir had only eyes for her, hoping she would approve his idea. It would be their one chance of finally standing a chance against an invasion of the Koopa Troop.

Peach took her eyes away from the scroll and looked up at him. "I have to admit...it is a clever plan. But will it work against Bowser?"

"It will, your majesty." Toadnoir said reassuringly. "I have no doubt it will fail. Not even E. Gadd could have come up with something like this..." A small smirk appeared from the Toad's lips.

"Well, I agree." Toadella piped up. "It certainly doesn't seem to have any flaws to me."

"I must follow the suggestions of Toadnoir and Toadella, my princess! That brute Bowser won't stand a chance against us now!" Toadsworth nodded.

Princess Peach sat there, deep in thought, her mouth buried in her gloved hands. It had to work...for the sake of the Mushroom Kingdom...

She turned to the person she had absolute faith in.

"Mario? Do you think this will work?"

He nodded, and gave his usual determined, yet cheerful grin. That settled it for the Princess. If Mario thought it would work, why shouldn't she?

"Very well. We must begin work at once."

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"Gwahahaha! It's finally time, my minions! I shall invade the Mushroom Kingdom, trounce Mario, and finally take Princess Peach for my own!"

"Your burliness!"

A green shelled Paratroopa floated down from the crow's nest of the great airship. It was a darker brown then usual, signifying that it was Bowser's flagship of his armarda. Several slightly smaller, lighter brown airships were following at the same speed, barely a distance away.

"We've entered Mushroom Kingdom airspace. We're approaching Toad Town and Princess Peach's Castle now."

"Excellent! I knew today was going to be a good day for an invasion!" The Koopa King laughed.

"No wonder, your majesty! Your judgement is always sound!" A lone goomba spoke among various other minions on the bottom part of the bridge, with Bowser at the front which was slightly higher up. His faithful underling, Kamek, was next to him.

"Indeed! Hail Lord Bowser!" Kamek screeched above the sounds of the whirring blades that propelled the airship forward and also kept it afloat.

"_HAIL LORD BOWSER!" _Was the reply that came back.

"And this time, I'm keeping it simple! No capturing Star Spirits! No uprooting her castle! And definitely NO barging in like I did that one time and discovered her voice had been stolen! It's just gonna be an invasion, loud and clear?"

"_YES SIR!"_

"Excellent! There's nothing the Mushroom Kingdom can do to stop us this time! Right, you all know the plan! My ship will lead the attack, and then, we all open fire upon that pathetic town filled with those mushroom heads! We invade the castle, kidnap the princess and pound Mario into the ground!"

But suddenly, a silence had fallen over the Koopa Troop. It was not an exciting silence, the one where you felt triumphant in what you were doing before you even began. It was filled with fear, and many of the minions eyes suddenly grew wide.

"I know! Just think! We're so close to victory! Mushroom Kingdom will be mine at long last!" Bowser yelled in a jubilant, almost happy roar.

A shadow suddenly begin to loom over the airship, large and dominating. It was huge, and was covering the entire fleet of airships. Kamek turned around and suddenly gave a shocked, scared start.

"Y-your majesty! W-we have a problem!"

"Hm? What are you talking about, Kamek?" Bowser turned to face his underling.

"_Big problem...Big problem..Big problem..."_ He chattered continuously, unable to get the words out properly. All of the minions below Bowser and Kamek seemed rooted to the spot, as if there was no escape.

"Kamek! Everyone! What's got into all of you?! We need to get ready to inva-"

"YOUR MAJESTY!!!!" Kamek suddenly found strength in him to point. Bowser followed his finger...and his jaw dropped.

A wall. Not a simple wall, the one that held buildings together, but a great, big, intimidating wall. It was black, and was made of large bricks that Bowser didn't even know could _be_ that big. It was as high as the sky and more and seemed to go low down into the river that led to the lake where Toad Town was...

It was no doubt incredibly sturdy. Bowser was at a loss for words, and they were only a few inches away from impact.

The crash was spectacular. The front pole of the airship was snapped clean off by the pressure between wall and airship and fell down to the river below...there was no way they could jump. It would be practically suicide. Everyone seemed too stunned to move anyway.

As the front of the airship was decimated, the destruction heading for Bowser and his minions, he could do nothing to prevent it.

"L-Lord Bowser?! What do we do?!" Kamek screeched.

Bowser's head and arms fell limply, before Kamek could hear his breath increasing. Never a good sign.

Bowser suddenly tilted his head back and roared;

"**I HATE THOSE MUSHROOM CAPPED MORONS-"**

**

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**

On the other side of the wall, everyone in Toad Town, along with several Yoshies, Bumpties and Koopas was watching. They managed to hear the distant BANG. They had also heard Bowser's yelling, which had been cut off.

Over on the castle balcony, Princess Peach, Toadsworth, Mario, Toadella and Toadnoir were listening as well. They heard several BANGS after it, and small, distant screams, but none which reached the level of Bowser's roar. Eventually, and slowly, the screams died down...until they could hear nothing.

"See? I told you princess, with the help of everyone in the Kingdom, it was fool-proof!" Toadnoir spoke proudly.

"Yes...I have to wonder as to why we didn't do something like this sooner." The Princess exclaimed softly.

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**Yes. a giant mother ****ing wall. I know. What the heck, right? XD Eh, my friend is crazy~ Toadella and Toadnoir are my own creations, but inspired by other Toads. I guess I owe Nintendo THAT much. Thanks again to my friend, it was really fun to do this since everything just seemed to fit together.**

**Eh, hope it gave you a quick laugh. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!  
**

**~Blue Toad~**


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